Sympathy Flower Etiquette: What to Know

What's appropriate to send, and when, matters more than people realize.

Traditional color choices lean pastel

White, cream, and pastel-toned flowers like lilies and chrysanthemums are traditionally considered most appropriate for sympathy arrangements, though modern etiquette has relaxed somewhat.

Standing sprays are for services, not homes

Large standing sprays are typically meant for funeral services or viewings, while smaller arrangements or plants are more appropriate to send directly to a family's home.

Timing matters

Sending flowers to arrive before or on the day of a service, or in the days following for home delivery, is generally considered most appropriate.

Some cultures and religions have specific customs

Certain religious and cultural traditions have specific flower customs or restrictions — when in doubt, checking with the family or funeral home is a respectful step.

A card message doesn't need to be elaborate

A simple, sincere message is more appropriate than an elaborate one for sympathy occasions — brevity is generally preferred.